Oh forgot

It's my friend's birthday, which was why it was on my mind.

Lifes a Bowl of Strawberries

This isn't actually a new dream, but I was thinking about the earlier one of strawberries. I recall how, in a parable of the Buddha, a trapped man in a dire situation, eating a strawberry, teaches non-attachment. I know that story well, which might be why my mind used the symbolism.

Anyway, it's played on my mind, not played, but I have actually given that dream some thought, perhaps because it's so useful to me. This memory of leaving someone does cause me pain, and my mind or whoever, is trying to show me how to look at it, in a way that's healed. So I did actually write something, while sitting in a cafe mulling it over.

Life's a Bowl of Strawberries

Life's a bowl of strawberries. Most people go through their days with little bits of happiness scattered amid the mundane greyness of getting through the day – and luckily, most people are too busy to notice the darkness in the sky —or have enough alcohol to forget, and taste each nugget of transient joy in the empty wasteland as though it will last forever.

But every now and again, just once in a while, true bliss enters the greyness of a life, and it's colour is so bright, and it's taste so sweet, that the agony of the truth is overridden for a time --, that it's a part of the changing world and will change with it -- that luscious taste can only be in one moment in time – is unbearable. If only I'd realised at the time, the desert that we were in, that forever after I'd dream of the sweetness with a mouth burning dry – I'd have watched each moment minutely – and yearned to be free.

Oh Strawberry dessert enchantment, desert desserted, I am.

Sabotaging Cult Spirit

I was staying in some place that was run by a religious cult. My alarm clock on the phone had been taken over by a spirit that was making sure it didn't go off on time. Now, I remember it as an evil spirit, though in my notebook I've only written down 'spirit'.

After I wrote that part, I remembered the part that came before it, which was that some people were lost and came to ask me directions to the youth hostel.

Interpretation

Well, the day I had this dream was the day I was planning to buy the first ticket of my epic journey to Asia, so it could be saying that there's a part of my mind which doesn't want to take risks and so is trying to sabotage it.

The Youth Hostel part lets me know that the dream is about travel.

Another thought is that I assosiate cults with being trapped, which is how I feel now.

As it turns out, I didn't get the ticket, even though the clock wasn't sabotaged. I left the hostel at eight and there just were'nt enough hours in the day to get everything done.

Though I'm intending to make a decision and buy the ticket before I leave London in two days.

Overall, it seems positive, that the dream is for my planned trip.

Junko Imanishi's Gifted Strawberries

Junko sent me a gift through the post, which arrived at my Aunt's house. I was so happy that I junped up and down for joy. I knew that I could finally tell people how much I love her rather than not mention it.

I ran out into the garden and opened the beautiful box, and realised, with some surprise, that the gift was actually fresh strawberries.

I imagined her picking them out and deciding to risk sending them, even though they're fresh, and was kind of disappointed that it was something that I couldn't keep forever. Then I just decided to eat them and enjoy the moment -- because most of all I was overjoyed that she had contacted me at last.

Interpretation

Not being able to talk about these strong feelings is harder now that I don't hear from her.

I think possibly it relates to something I'm planning. When we were in Perth, I took some negatives and transparencies of our times together. I risked having the negatives printed so that I could send her a set, though I was worried of damage as they're so precious. It turned out OK though.

Because I'm trying to leave the UK now I'll have to put them in storage, and I never did dare get around to having the transparencies scanned. Perhaps because, well no, really because they mean so much to me, they also contain the best picture I ever took. Of her in Victoria Youth Hostel, cutting a piece of cheese for our breakfast, with really fantastic light falling accross her.

I'm thinking of finally scanning them tomorrow; once they're digitised, they're much safer I guess. I think the strawberries show that sometimes in life, you have to enjoy things with an open hand, because there's nothing that lasts forever; you can't eat your strawberries as well as have them, and perhaps I should just have them scanned without feeling sad and missing her but just being glad of the experience of having met her?